I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
