I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
