He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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