And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
