i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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