help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
