i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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