Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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