You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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