is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
