Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
