You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My dick has a subreddit
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
