bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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