HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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