I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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