yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
