Non-Jews are for practice
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
