loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i've created a new STD.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
