Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
4 words: hood of his car
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
