Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My vagina is officially offended.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why is there bacon in the couch?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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