The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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