This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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