So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
handjob tips. give me some.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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