dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
