i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
