My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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