careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
