Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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