apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
