His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
