I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
