SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You may now shotgun with the bride
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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