Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
