hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
