We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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