I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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