Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
