do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
