i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
