i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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