just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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