Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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