so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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