Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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