I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize