I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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