Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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