oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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