it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
