I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
