I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize