the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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