Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize