i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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