Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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