Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
