They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize