he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
