it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
