your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Boobs speak an international language.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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