Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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