yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
